Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Where I Went Wrong

I have an addiction. One that, I assume, a lot of people have. Books, are my addiction. No, not just reading. Reading isn't my addiction.... it is literally, books. Their old musty smells, their new fresh smells. The scents of homes they use to reside. The pages that I feel and the old worn down paper. Is there a label for my addiction? I haven't googled it yet. However, it seems there should be a label for this love I have for books.

I love to read. However, It is only for the satisfaction for the adventure I get to be on. In life I am too afraid to venture far from home. The experience I have in my reading, is so beautiful. So, I buy books and embrace them. Hoping to find adventure.

My dream was to become a book reviewer. Possibly work for a publishing company one day. That is where this all began. My house is full of books. Books on bookshelves, boxes full of books..... even my closet houses books, where my shoes should be. I am literally overflowing with books.

I created this blog in hopes of sharing my love for reading. I created this blog in hopes of self publishing my work. Using this as a stepping stone for future endeavors. That is where I went wrong.
I needed work... I needed books to read and review. Opening this door wasn't a mistake. I was able to read some of the best books I've ever gotten my hands on.

So how did I lose this love I once had of reviewing books? I allowed my reviews to take over.. instead of the stories themselves. Instead of the love of reading. A while ago, before I lost my love for reviewing, stacks of books made me happy. I had a never ending supply of adventure! The stacks of books I received from authors was another adventure I was so excited to begin. I allowed it to turn into work. Always reading and not just for fun... but mainly for a review. I never wanted to let down any of the authors I promised reviews for. I never allowed myself a chance at my own personal reading list, I began to hate reviewing.

A friend of mine, an author I have read for, told me to take a break. Read for fun... I wanted to so bad, but then I looked at my stack of 20 or so books I had in line for review and dread, once again, took hold of me.

The sad thing is... I haven't read a book for a whole year now. There my wonderful books sit in my home. They wait for me to open them and dive into their worlds. I have tried to read. I have sat down and read a few pages.... and then I put the book down and walk away. I still buy books. I still buy books based on their covers, or reviews. I take the time to continue stocking my home with books. I still get excited when walking into a second hand book store. I still walk out with a bag full of books. That is where it ends. I get home, I shelve them and I think..... soon I'll read again.

So here is my attempt at getting back my joy of reading. I have never lost my joy of books. I am thankful for that. There is hope for me after all. I'll take advice from my wonderful virtual author friend. I'll read and review for me.